Love.
“You’ve got to have something to eat and a little love in your life before you can hold still for any damn body’s sermon on how to behave.”
- Billie Holiday
Billie Holiday is considered one of the greatest and most influential jazz musicians of all time. “Her singing expressed an incredible depth of emotion that spoke of hard times and injustice as well as triumph.” You feel the pain and struggle as well the love and joy in her music. That depth of emotion can only come from experience. This is why I looked to her when I was struggling. At one time in my life it seemed like nothing could go right. I was desperately trying to figure out how to get out of the rut I was in so that I could move forward, but nothing that I tried worked. And one day I just thought about Billie Holiday, not about her music, but about her life. I didn’t know all the details of her story, but I knew that she’d struggled. I knew that she overcame pain and adversity, and not only did she survive she thrived. After reading her autobiography Lady Sings the Blues, I was so inspired. She overcame pain and suffering that I have never known. I was inspired by her courage and strength, and I have found those qualities in me to overcome whatever I’m struggling with.
“The difficult I will do right now. The impossible will take a little while.”
Billie Holiday was born Eleanora Fagan on April 7th, 1915 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her parents Sarah “Sadie” Fagan and Clarence Halliday were teenagers when Billie was born. After Sadie was kicked out of her parents home for becoming pregnant, She found work as a maid. Clarence soon abandoned the family to pursue a career as a jazz musician, leaving Sadie to care for Billie on her own, she had make arrangements for Billie to stay with family while she was at work. Billie stayed with her aunt Eva Miller in Baltimore, where she was tormented and abused. Their family struggled living in extreme poverty. Billie dropped out of school when she was 11 years old. She first found work as a maid, and later found work running errands for the ladies at a local brother names Alice Dean’s.
“I never had a chance to play with dolls like other kids. I started working when I was six years old.”
At that time Alice’s was the only place around with a victrola. Billie made a deal with Alice, whatever pay Billie was owed Alice would keep if she let her listen to music on the victrola. Alice agreed. Billie would listen to Louis Armstrong and Bessie Smith. She loved listening to Louis Armstrong’s song “West End Blues” and particularly loved the scat section, which she explains “It was the first time I ever heard anybody sing without using any words… it had plenty of meaning for me.” Soon after Sadie remarried, Billie finally moved out of her aunts house and moved in with her mother and step father. One day when Sadie was at the hairdressers, Billie was sexually assaulted by a neighbor. When Billie and her mother reported it to the police, They not only arrested her attacker they arrested Billie as well. Billie was sent to a Catholic Institution, where she was further traumatized and abused.
“You can get in just as much trouble by being dumb and innocent as you can by breaking the law.”
After Billie was released from the institution she and her mother moved to Harlem with the belief that “There’s got to be something better than this.” And it had to be up North. Billie worked again as a maid until she began working as a prostitute. After refusing a customer, he angrily called the police and Billy was arrested for prostitution. Billie and Sadie found themselves again struggling to pay their rent and buy food. So one night Billie went to a nearby jazz club and asked if she could tryout to be a dancer. She explained that her dance performance was just pitiful. She was just about to be thrown out, until the piano player took pity on her and asked if she could sing. She replied “Sure I can sing, what good is that?” She never thought she could work as a singer, before then she only sang for herself. For her audition she sang “Trav’lin All Alone.” As she sang the entire bar became quiet. She had everyones attention, and when she finished the song she saw that people were crying.
Billie sang at a number of jazz clubs in Harlem. In 1933 she caught the attention of writer and producer, John Hammond. “He reported that she was the greatest singer he had ever heard. Her bluesy vocal style brought a slow and rough quality to the jazz standards that were often upbeat and light. This combination made for poignant and distinctive renditions of songs that were already standards. By slowing the tone with emotive vocals that reset the timing and rhythm, she added a new dimension to jazz singing.” This led to her getting to work with a range of great jazz musicians, including Duke Ellington, Benny Goodman, Teddy Wilson, Ben Webster, and most importantly, the saxophonist Lester Young. She worked a lot with Lester, and it him who gave her the nickname “Lady Day”. When Billie married James Monroe, she was already known to drink, and she soon picked up his drug addiction, which she struggled with even after their divorce. In 1939 Billie received a letter from the Federal Bureau of Narcotics, to never sing her song “Strange Fruit” again. She refused and continued singing the song as a personal protest against racism and lynching. FBN commissioner Harry Anslinger, a known racist made it his mission to maliciously take down Billie for her drug and alcohol addiction, as he believed Billie to be the symbol of everything that America had to be afraid of.
“Imagine if the government chased sick people with diabetes, put a tax on insulin and drove it into the black market, told doctors they couldn’t treat them, and then caught them, prosecuted them for not paying their taxes, and then sent them to jail. If we did that, everyone would know we were crazy. Yet we do practically the same thing every day in the week to sick people hooked on drugs. The jails are full and the problem is getting worse every day. ”
Billie toured with Count Basie’s band. She sang with Artie Shaw and his orchestra, and broke ground, becoming one of the first Black female to work with a White orchestra. She also opened at Café Society, a plush new integrated club in Greenwich Village, it was there that she developed her trademark stage persona, and where she began wearing gardenias in her hair. She was often overworked and underpaid. As she explains “I opened Café Society as an unknown; I left two years later as a star. But you couldn’t tell the difference from what I had in my sock. I was still making that same old seventy- five dollars a week. I had made more than that in Harlem. I needed the prestige and publicity all right, but you can’t pay rent with it.” Desperately needing help she went to her mother’s restaurant. Billie had given her mother large amounts of money to support the restaurant, and now Billie was going to ask her mom for support. Billie explains “Mom turned me down flat. She wouldn't give me a cent." The two argued, and Holiday shouted angrily, "God bless the child that's got his own", and stormed out. After this argument Billie wrote “God Bless the Child” one of her most popular and most covered songs
On March 28, 1957, Billie married Louis McKay, who became controlling, physically abusive, and also stole most of her money. The two eventually separated. In early 1959, Holiday was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. After years of battling addiction to drugs and alcohol, she initially stopped after getting the diagnosis, however she soon relapsed. On May 31, 1959, Holiday was finally taken to Metropolitan Hospital in New York for treatment of both liver and heart disease. Gravely ill, she was still arrested in her hospital bed for narcotics possession. It is believed that this final blow broke her spirit, and on July 17, 1959, Billie died of pulmonary edema and heart failure caused by cirrhosis of the liver. Billie Holiday’s story is filled with beauty and pain, after every major accomplishment there is a heartbreaking setback. She lived at a time when there were not many options for people that grew up in poverty, came from a broken home, suffered abuse, or struggled with addiction. And there were hardly any rights for women especially Black women. We live at time where can get help, and we can make different choices. I learned from her the importance of standing up for myself, knowing my worth, and never accepting anything less than what I deserve. I strive to pour into myself by making time for me and loving who I am.
“I’ve been told that nobody sings the word ‘hunger’ like I do. Or the word ‘love. Maybe I remember what those words are all about.”
How Yoga Can Help
“The severity of practice by itself is not the yardstick for measuring success. A pure mind and a right intention are necessary. Yoga must be done gradually. The yoga pose is not the goal. Becoming flexible or standing on your hands is not the goal. The goal is to create space where you were once stuck. To unveil layers of protection you have built around your heart. To appreciate your body and become aware of the mind and the noise it creates. To make peace with who you are. The goal is to love… well, you. Shift your focus and your heart will grow.”
- Geeta Iyengar
This class takes us on a journey to discover our inner strength. First through the body, we work with poses that are heating and energizing to build strength, flexibility, and to sharpen our focus and concentration to take us beyond the physical, so that we can see, know, and love ourselves inside and out.
Poses 1- 2
1. Adho Muka Virasana (Downward Facing Hero Pose/ Child’s Pose) 2. Adho Muka Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog Pose) On a physical level these poses strengthen the muscles in the arms, legs, and upper back, while also extending the wrists, ankles, and the sides of the body. These actions work together to support the release of the head and neck, this helps calm the mind, and ease stress and tension.
Pose 3
3. Jumpings These poses are heating and energizing. They build strength and flexibility to tone both body and mind. Strengthening the muscles in the arms, legs, back, and core to prepare us for the more challenging poses. And helping us find inner strength to face our fears with determination and equanimity so that we can face any challenges that come along.
Pose 4- 5
4. Adho Muka Vrksasana (Downward Facing Tree Pose/ Handstand) 5. Uttanasana (Intense Stretch Pose/ Standing Forward Bend with Support) These poses strengthen and extend the entire body. This pose teaches us the true meaning of strength, the true meaning of power, and that is freedom. To conquer this pose we must learn to be light and free, that is the strength needed to stand straight when everything is upside down.
Pose 5
5. Adho Muka Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog Pose with Support) In this class we come back to downward dog pose to refine the actions in the arms and legs, to better understand how they support the extension of the sides, and finally the release of the head and neck. Together these actions help us feel grounded.
Poses 6- 7
6. Viparita Karani (Supported Bridge Pose) 7. Savasana (Corpse Pose) These poses promote deep relaxation. They calm the mind to help reduce stress and anxiety.